It's beginning to feel like summer. I don't know how to get my mind out of China and I wish it was 8 days later and I was already on United Airlines, well over the moon on the way there. Times like these jet planes really do come in handy.I'm looking forward to so much there, and I hope it lives up to my expectations. I want to relax, and shop till I drop, and sight-see, and lay around the house watching Chinese T.V., and eat genuine Chinese in the crazy five-star restaurants, and pull of this bridesmaid thing, and take model glamour pictures and feel like a model, and get my ipod fixed or replaced, and dye my hair, and hook up with my so called fiance according to my mom and teach this naive little cute boy a thing or two about girls, and play computer games with my cousins, and laugh with my drunk uncles until they pass out and I get the rest of the wine. I just want to relax, and jump around with family screaming at the sheer joy of being in my cousin's wedding at the same time. Oh China, please don't let me down. This is the last time my whole family goes together.
In the meantime, exams ended for me today [school let out on may 3 but we still had to take a spanish oral and an english oral and philosophy exams] which is exciting, but it was actually nice to see people and not feel so isolated. i know, that sounds pretty loserish, but i'm sad the philosophy exams are over cuz I got to chill with all the IB juniors again ^___^. plus the exams were easy even though they were really long and we started late both times because yesterday nick forgot to pick up ben and alex wilson got confused and left, and today emily didn't come because she thought the exam was at noon instead of 7 AM. Now I'm trying to type up my damn extended essay and get past the introduction. I don't know where to go with it from here. It's so stressing and I want half of it done by Friday, which I really hope will happen. I guess with my sense of procrastination, though, it won't. >.>;;
Then I couldn't find a dress for banquet at all the stores by my house so I guess I'm just either wearing the gold strapless dress or the black dress that I wore last year to homecoming [when I had a date.. who was Nick.. so I guess he didn't really count.. haha, jay kay]. I dunno, it's almost full-length, and I like it and I already have the shoes to match and stuff, and I already know how I want to do my hair. With the gold one we'd have to add tulle to the bottom because it's kind of short. Plus it itches, so I'd probably have to wear something inside. >.< 
I've been thinking the past two days, and I've had a revelation. I've fallen in love with a one-dimensional person. I don't know if he's worth it - probably not. But it's far too late to turn back now, I guess. He's already gouged himself into my heart and it's too deep for me to cut him out. There's nothing for me to do except push forward and see where life takes me. I wonder when this part of my life gets crumpled and thrown into the paper shredder so I can finally start fresh. [It's just like me to envision my life like a writer would. I write too much.]
And as for the other two relationships, I have the upper hand. I think I'm enjoying the deliciousness of it all. For once, I like being the levelheaded, cool and composed one instead of the one who's freaking out because he didn't call or say something I wanted him to say. I could get used to this.
Back to the grind of writing. Mao Zedong is just not doing it for me today. Boys should not be bothered with until you know what you're doing. I agree with a long-lost quote that Topanga from Boy Meets World once upon a fairy-tale time said: Boys should be kept underground and only be used for breeding purposes. But you get to choose who you get, of course.
cordial[ly] cherry yours,
chen
