Just to remember things for when I'm old and have Alzheimer's (oh God I hope that never strikes me) I'm going to do a list of all the important things of the year 2007 since January. Because I think I've said this before, I like lists.
1. Turning legal. Yes, that's right, I am now finally 18. I don't think, besides being able to go into stores like Fascinations without getting kicked out for being a naughty little underage pervert (not that I'd ever pay that store a visit more than once... there are some weird, weird things in there) and being able to vote and being able apply for jobs anywhere and not having to have your parents sign annoying things like permissions slips and being able to just have the sheer fun of saying you're 18, that it's all that it's cracked up to be. (Did that sentence even make sense? Say it to yourself a few times over.) I mean, I guess it's cool because 18 sounds so much older than 17, and now you're allowed to date anybody you want, and go clubbing too without having to have fake ID's, and... okay, I guess being 18 is cool.But I'm still not able to drink legally (not that that ever bothered [or stopped] anyone....). Haha, just joshin'. Anyway, I think the point is that I don't view myself any differently unless I'm faced with signing permission slips or am standing in line to vote or some nonsense like that, so I guess I don't think it's that big of a deal. I mean, I'm still a teenager. I still forget that I'm not 10 years old anymore.
And sometimes, I go into deep denial because I just want to be a kid again. I don't want to grow up and face being independent and all the other responsibilities that the number 18 carries with it. For the first time in my life and for the rest of my life, I can't depend on my parents anymore. I am my own person. An adult. And I don't want to be. I know all of us always tell our parents to back off and we wish we could just live on our own and call our own shots in life, but when it comes down to it, I'm used to having mama and baba to fall back on when I'm stuck. And now that I have to do everything myself, I kind of just want to throw a 3-year-old-worthy tantrum and tell the age-god "NO!!!!!"So on the one hand, sure I get to go anywhere I want and dance the night away at Vinyl and buy a strawberry flavored life-sized dildo lollipop if I want to, but I also have to stop hiding behind mama's skirts, shed my training wheels (not the most appropriate analogy as I still don't know how to ride a bike) and declare myself independent (do I get a flag?). And that's scary.
It'll take some time to adjust to, but I guess I'll grow into it sooner or later. At least when I'm 21. Then there are whole other issues to deal with. Like drinking.
My birthday itself was pretty cool. I mean, I didn't hold an uberparty or anything; Alex, Daren, and I just went to Outback-which-turned-into-Carrabas for a nice lunch even though the waiter didn't know what the heck gelato was, despite it being advertised on the window. I think the highlight of it was getting my ears double-pierced at Freaky's (exercising my independence, whee), one of the most terrifying experiences of my life because apparently I'm a 'bleeder' (my left ear started bleeding a lot and the piercer... piercist?... went 'oh shiet' - not a good sign) or the fact that Alex got me a signed Cristiano Ronaldo photo. Anyways, it passed by kind of humdrum-like, but it was nice. It would've been nice to throw a huge party and get tons of presents and... I don't know, crowd surf or something, but there's a time to party and there's a time to just sit back and mellow-ize, and when it comes down to it, I preferred to enjoy two of my best friends' company for my last birthday together instead of dankfesting my brain into oblivion.
2. Prom, graduation, and all that jazz that comes with it. Yea... it's all over.Prom: Prom has always been this fairytale that every girl dreams about since the age of three, along with getting married, buying a pony, and being the pink power ranger. I think I idealized it into something it was never supposed to be, just because I'm such an extreme daydreamer and I always picture my life in the future to be perfect. But my reality has always been sort of distorted from the reality you see on T.V. or read in teen romance novels, and so it turned out to be very different from what I imagined. For one thing, I became way too caught up in the date aspect; Prom was just something I always thought I needed a good strong male arm to hang onto to. I mean, I don't care about going stag to anything except Prom. So there was a bit of a panic moment when my backup date found a girlfriend, and then my other option had issues with his girlfriend, and I actually thought I'd have to go alone, which was just basically unthinkable. So when I finally gave up and then the very next instant one of my great guy friends I'd completely forgotten about asked me, I was really blown away. That goes to say I should just stop worrying and leave it up to the greater powers.
Anyway, I think the most exciting thing was getting ready. That was half the fun. I mean, I got a vintage champagne-peach-pink customized ball gown and matching shoes in China the summer before for about $60 (everything's better made in China) so I was already pumped up in August. Daren and I got our hair and makeup done in Allure Salon together the day of, and there was a another panic attack when the hairstylist and makeup artist turned me around and my hair was too afro-like and my makeup made me look like a raccoon, but thank god they were experts and fixed it so I looked somewhat like I always dreamed I'd look at prom. Then of course I was late picking up Patrick, and meeting at Claire's house, then rushing over to Cranmer Park for pictures with our 21-person group, but it all turned out okay despite the fact that I was somewhat out of breath until dinner. It was disappointing we didn't get on top of getting a limo, but I guess I can just save that for, I don't know, my wedding, or when I finally become a top VJ. (Haha.) Dinner at Via was just absolutely perfect. Seriously, you know when you go to those restaurants and the stuff you order isn't the best, and you really don't like it, but you have to pretend to anyways? Well except for my salad, it didn't end up like that. I loved the rigatoni, and the raspberry napoleon for dessert, and the fact that we got a whole back room to ourselves, and that Patrick paid for me xDD.
I think the only disappointing thing of the night was prom itself. Weird, eh? But it was at a really ghetto place (Wings over the Rockies - an airplane museum), we got there at 10 and it ended at 11 (retarded), the DJ was really cocky and played music I didn't really recognize (but I dance my ass off anyways) and the decorations absolutely sucked. Oh well, me and my digital camera and the crowds of friends had fun. Everybody looked so gorgeous, we could've all landed in Vogue if there were cover agents there. So despite it being a bit short and disappointing, it was still very ethereal and fairy-tale like. Too bad Jerrome didn't get to see me because he didn't even show! Oh well, you can't get everything you wish for in life.
We dropped by Heather's house to change and eat and play ping-pong, and then afterprom was at Boondocks. I almost wish I could've worn my prom dress longer even though it was a bit suffocating cuz it was so hot, but ah well. Boondocks was so, so fun. We mini-golfed (even though I basically blew at it and ended up cheating for part of the way) and cheated at the arcade games to get tickets (hahaha us and our bright ideas) which we spent on candy and temp tattoos and these inflatable 'POW!' boxing gloves and go-karted until 4:40 A.M. Go-karts were the best. I got pretty good at beating people, even though I wasn't crazy-competitive even though I did want to kill that one mexican guy who kept acting all smug every time he tried to pass me (I satisfied myself with one or two good rams into his bumper). Driving back to Taryn's house, she got pulled over for speeding (we'll laugh about it one day) and then we seriously just passed out in her basement. I had the greatest dream, too. The next morning we had a laid-back breakfast and then I went home to a nice, hot shower. Perfect way to finish it off.
Graduation: Graduation is something I never thought would happen to me. Either I'd die before it, or some big catastrophe would happen and they'd cancel that tradition so we'd just go straight to college, or they'd tell us "oh, yea, sorry, y'all are repeating senior year again!". I mean, even in my serious daydreams that range everything from making up new ice cream flavors to meeting Antonio Banderas, I never even got close to the part where I graduated. Graduation is something that happens to people who grow up, I thought, not to me.
Yea, well, it happened. And though I had a Spanish IB Exam 2 hours prior and everything was sort of rushed and it was raining like, serious cats and dogs ("my teachers always said it'd be a rainy day when I graduated... haha") and our class can't follow directions and the administration doesn't know the meaning of organized and people are rude as hell and the speeches were long and endless and our robes were a really ugly shiny green, it was pretty cool. It was so surreal when I walked up on that platform and they announced my name and I started shaking random people's hands. People were crying that night, and I supposed I should have been as well because, I mean, it's all over, but all I could think of was how happy I was. I mean, I made it through 14 years of schooling and now I'm off to try something else, to pursue my dreams. And I'm out of IB!!!
The day after that I was filling out job applications and there was a question that read "have you graduated from high school?" I got all smug and was all "hehehe" as I checked that box.
Now there are graduation parties until about the year 2009. I had to go to 3 parties in one day once. It's been everything from pirate-themed dankfests to bouncing castles in the backyard to barbeques with the best wings in the world to midnight Pirates party downtown (which was an awesome movie btw, even though there were some parts where I think the producers were on acid to have seriously included that in the movie) to pool parties when it's raining. I was kind of thinking about having one (I mean, after all, presents) but I decided to cut my poor parents some slack and skip out on that one. I mean, Syracuse is eating up our money. It'd do to save for once.As I leave these graduation parties, I don't even think about the fact that I'm never going to see some of these people again. That's kind of scary. But I guess we've all played out our roles in each other's lives and now it's somebody else's turn. I regret that I didn't get to know a lot of people till this year, or not even, or that I'm letting old friendships drift away, but that just means we'll just have to keep in touch in college. And I suck at that by the way, so I'll have to buck up and do it starting fall so there's no awkward re-meeting each other ten years later at the reunion.
3. CQuad 07, our Asian family, and church. I've had my Asian church family since the age of 3, and I fluctuate between wanting to conglomerate everyone into one house so we can all live together and wanting to send them all back to China so I can forget about those freaks. I think right before CQuad, I was rather in the latter mood, just because I was in one of those 'I hate chinky Asians and I'd rather die by drowning in a vat of oil than go to this God conference thing' stages (nobody probably has those moods except me - I'll blame it on PMS).But since I'm wrong about everything, I'm so glad I had nothing better to do on one Friday night than be forced to go to CCU with my parents and pay a visit to the youth program of CQuad. Aiya. What can I say? If anything, I love my China family again. Unfortunately, it wasn't really a faith-based experience in which my spiritual fire was doused with another ton of gasoline or even a mountain of peat, but it was more of a friendship bonding experience and I'm glad for that. I mean, we (by we I mean me, Flo, Ann, Jeff, Jack, Jackjack, Al, Dave, Allen, [Sarah, Bowen, and Leah]) practically did live together for four days. We were always hanging out at Dave's house playing guitar hero or eating zhong zi [Chinese tamales] or almost dying on his trampoline or practicing my dismal frisbee skills or watching Jack teach Ann how to drive stick or just fooling around outside the conference center taking pictures and waiting for Jack to finish his counselor meetings. (We have the 234875046895234761098 pictures to prove it).
Plus, it wasn't a complete waste since the Cali boys were pretty much the awesomest worship team in the universe. These four boys, Sam, Moses, Brian, and Allan, ranging from 18-21 in age, from New Life church in California flew down to Denver with their youth speaker to guest star as the worship team and like I said, they were awesome. Not only did practically all the young girls get ubercrushes on Sam, Moses, and Brian because yea, those three weren't too bad looking x) (my sister is living proof), they worked really well together and could seriously sign a record label if they tried. [Did I mention Allan is Vanness Wu's cousin from F4? *starstruck*]
<--Vanness
Anyway, they were really big motivation for me to step our own worship team up because even though I know we're not supposed to compare and all since all this stuff about God not caring what we sound like, but compared to them we're in elementary form.
The last night, we all went out for wings. Unfortunately I sat on the other end of the table from them so I didn't really get to talk with them and all, but they were really, really down-to-earth, nice guys (Sam actually went to Agape with Al) and hopefully they'll visit CO again soon. I'm disappointed they weren't invited to Camp Xroads instead of CQuad, because in CQuad you just saw them on stage really, whereas in camp, we would've really gotten to know each other, but you take what you get in life, and I'm just glad I got to meet them. 4. Syracuse University. Yea, I got in. There's really not much to say except I'm excited and scared at the same time (and a bit disgruntled about the snowy weather T-T). I'm double-majoring in Journalism and Psychology, except I might switch it to just a minor in psych. Move-in day is August 23rd, and it's hard to realize that I have about 3 months left with my family, my friends, and my life here in Denver. I almost got cold feet and switched to CU instead (hey, perk, Troy Ruiz is there!! =p) but I decided that if I ever wanted to live up to the age of 18 and become an adult, I had to do it. So I'm going. Watch out, world.
This has taken me about 2 hours to post, and no wonder - look at all that text! *falls over*
I always think my life is nothing short of boring until I write it all down and realize I'm never not doing anything. And those are just the really important events too, not including all the drama that went on this year (both on and off the stage) and all the struggles with IB and friends and siblings and splurging of money at Unity boutique.
I don't know when the next time I'll post again, so I'll sign off now by saying, wherever life takes me next, I am well and ready to face it... like a... like a... I can't think of an analogy.
But right now, I'm just going to sit back and laze around and enjoy summer and do things that don't involve a lot of thinking. After all, that's what college is for. *_*
...and girls of summer too,
Chen.
